When I had my hysterectomy, I was told recovery would be quick because I was young, fit & otherwise healthy.

They were wrong. The surgeon made an error and despite signs of post op bleeding, discharged me & went on vacation.

When I returned to the ER, I was ignored & gaslit

They told me it was “normal” to be in more pain 8 days after surgery than on day 1 (it’s not).

They said “what do you want us to do?”

They refused to run any tests beyond basic vitals, and scolded me for wasting their time

I knew something was wrong, but I was young and hadn’t yet learned how to advocate for myself.

The pain, swelling and bruising were getting worse with each passing day. I was dizzy, listless and had no appetite.

I slept ALL the time.

I was not getting better

I did what anyone would do, I went back to the ER. Surely this time they would take me seriously?

They didn’t. They made no attempt to hide their frustration that I had returned”. They made misogynistic comments about how “sensitive” I was & that being in pain was normal

I went home feeling completely dejected and disrespected, but also starting to gaslight myself.

Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe this was normal pain. Maybe I did need to suck it up.

I tried to force myself to eat and go for light walks. I tried to play through the pain.

I was vomiting everything up and frequently collapsing from fatigue.

I could not suck this up.

My boyfriend had to carry me into the ER for a third attempt to get help

They did the exact same thing. Asked what we expected them to do. Told us the pain was normal. Refused to call a consult or run tests.

Thankfully my boyfriend believed me over them. He was certain if I went home, I wouldn’t make it through the night

He refused to let them discharge me. He told them, loudly and sternly, that he was not taking me home to die. That they needed to do their jobs.

They threatened to call security but he did not back down.

Thankfully a doctor overheard him and decided to look in and see if he could calm the situation.

When he saw me, half unconscious and white as a ghost, he immediately ordered tests. He told the triage staff not to call security and to take me into a private room

It turns out my boyfriend was right. Had I gone home that night, I wouldn’t have made it to morning.

I had a massive internal bleed and a giant infected abscess which had been growing since the surgeon sent me home.

I was rushed to another hospital for emergency surgery and given 50/50 odds of survival. I spent over a month in the hospital, developed a second hospital acquired infection, and needed 11 months to fully recover.

I survived due to luck & privilege. Had my boyfriend not believed me, I wouldn’t be here. Had he not been a white man? He likely would have been removed & I would have died

This is medical misogyny. They didn’t listen because I was a woman. They thought I was being dramatic

I tell this story because of what happened to Adriana Smith. A young black woman in Georgia who tried to get medical care for severe headaches, and was dismissed and gaslit instead.

She suffered brain death at home because no one believed her. Because of misogynoir.

To make matters worse, she’s been turned into a medical experiment because she was nine weeks pregnant and living in a state with an abortion ban. She’s on organ & tissue support being treated as a human incubator.

No care when alive & forced “care” when dead

Misogyny in medicine kills. It maims. It disables and traumatizes.

Women are frequently treated as hysterical and not given the medical care they require.

We often need a man to accompany us just to be taken seriously.

It’s not right and it needs to change

I will forever deal with medical PTSD because of what I went through, but at least I survived.

Adriana wasn’t so lucky, and no one’s survival should ever be based on luck, privilege or their ability to find a man to speak for them

I survived due to luck and privilege, Adriana didn’t.

What’s worse, due to abortion bans and dangerous forced birth policies, her body is kept alive on organ and tissue support without her family’s consent.

We must do better:

https://www.disabledginger.com/p/adriana-smith-misogyny-and-the-cruelty

When I was in my twenties, I was repeatedly denied a medically necessary hysterectomy because I might “meet a man who wants kids”.

I was left completely disabled, forced to undergo six surgeries, multiple blood & iron transfusions to preserve a diseased uterus for a HYPOTHETICAL child.

This happened in Canada, where we tend to be more Liberal than our neighbours to the South.

I was cishet and white, so faced less barriers to care than marginalized people do.

I still wasn’t permitted to make a decision about my own body.

Wasn’t trusted to know my own mind

I had zero quality of life. There was no way I could have been a mother even if I HAD wanted to (which I didn’t).

Yet a hypothetical future husband’s needs and desires were repeatedly put before my own.

I was told I would feel differently once I was “in love”. That my dream man would leave me

Basically imagine every misogynistic and patriarchal nonsense you’ve ever been told… I heard it all.

I watched my twenties slip away from a hospital bed, confused and disheartened by the fact that I couldn’t convince any doctors to let me make the choice that was best for my life & body

I eventually did get the hysterectomy, but only because I was literally bleeding to death.

What could have been a planned & controlled operation was done as an emergency and left me with tons of complications.

Autonomy doesn’t exist for uterus owners. And we’re losing more each day

I tell this story because I feel sick over what’s happening to Adriana Smith in Georgia.

She was a black nurse who tried to seek medical care. She was dismissed and it cost her life.

Now because of an abortion ban her body is being kept alive for a 9 week old fetus.

Her family had no say in the matter. She’s been turned into an incubator by the State. Had “care” forced upon her despite the fact that she couldn’t access proper care when she was alive.

The same day I found out about Adriana, I discovered that police in the UK are being given guidance on how to search a woman’s home & devices for any reference to abortion after a pregnancy loss.

Choice is an illusion. So is autonomy. And it shouldn’t be.

I don’t know where we go from here, but I do know that if I faced a battle to obtain a hysterectomy, more marginalized people living in less Liberal areas have it far far worse.

We need to tell our stories. I’ve told this story before, and I’m going to keep telling it until none of us suffer this way.

For the Adriana’s who can’t tell their story. For those we’ve lost and will lose. For the next generation.

We need to keep fighting for true autonomy. We need to support each other.

We need to make it clear that we do not agree with patriarchal fascist means of controlling our reproductive organs and by extension, our lives.

When we share stories, we help others know they aren’t alone. We educate people on how far we are from equality. We change hearts and minds