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#DatingProfile

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Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile of a man:</p><p>"I am from the land of the Kama Sutra. 😏 "</p><p>:catthinking: I can just see how this is going to go.</p><p>"Happy to see we've matched. I am from the land of the Kama Sutra, you know. 😏 "</p><p>"Oh, cool! Have you read it?"</p><p>"Er... not exactly."</p><p>"Ah... that's a shame."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Yes. Here's what they say about enlarging the penis: 'When a man wishes to enlarge his lingam, he should rub it with the bristles of certain insects that live in trees, and then, after rubbing it for ten nights with oils, he should again rub it with the bristles as before.'"</p><p>"Fuck!"</p><p>"Now, I love a huge lingam. Let me fetch the bees."</p><p><a href="https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Kama_Sutra_(Burton)/Part_7/Chapter_2" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no" target="_blank"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">en.wikisource.org/wiki/Kama_Su</span><span class="invisible">tra_(Burton)/Part_7/Chapter_2</span></a></p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in the dating profile of a straight man:</p><p>A series of pictures of a muscular guy, but with the face blacked out.</p><p>In the profile text:</p><p>"Face matches the body."</p><p>:catthinking: Am I to think the face, like the body, is *muscular*?</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/headless" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>headless</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/muscular" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>muscular</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"Will someone match my freak?"</p><p>This is the entire profile.</p><p>:catthinking: </p><p>What freak are we supposed to match? You're into feet? Farts? Trains? What?</p><p>:holdthepain: </p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/freak" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>freak</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"I listen to SZA."</p><p>:catthinking: Alright, you continue to listen to schizoaffective disorder.</p><p>Ngl, that's how I first read SZA.</p><p>But it is also the name of a musician.</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"From London. I have an accent. Definitely not a spy."</p><p>:catthinking: Definitely *not* a spy? That's exactly what a spy would say! Nice try, Mister Spy!</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/spy" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>spy</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"Semi-sober..."</p><p>:catthinking: I guess that's like being a little bit pregnant.</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/sober" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sober</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/pregnant" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>pregnant</span></a></p>
Markus<p>Ich Mann habe Igel und bin Arbeitslos und suche eine weibliche extantierte und Armore Frau lol<br> <a href="https://ohai.social/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://ohai.social/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Thank GOD you wrote that you're looking for fun in your dating profile. For a second there, I thought you were looking for piss and misery.</p><p>(This was sarcasm.)</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/sarcasm" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>sarcasm</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"Looking for someone with a little razzle-dazzle."</p><p>This was the entire profile.</p><p>:catthinking: </p><p>So....</p><p>Jazz hands then??</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/Dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/RazzleDazzle" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>RazzleDazzle</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/JazzHands" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>JazzHands</span></a></p>
SuddenGenesis<p>To Whom It May Concern:</p><p>As a single, eligible man without a companion at this time, I am available for the position of Boyfriend and Companion as indicated in your online dating profile. I believe my skills in back massage, listening attentively, and comfortingly muttering ‘there, there’ will be well suited to the role.</p><p>I have many years of experience in talking with other humans of multiple genders, and will put this to use in conversations we have in the future. I can both listen and provide verbal contributions of my own to the endeavor.</p><p>My past track record for providing a limited but interesting array of options for dinner locations may prove valuable for conversations that include the phrase “what do you want to eat?” This is an area where my flexible and versatile culinary palate may be of significant value.</p><p>Thank you so much for your time and consideration, and I eagerly await your response.</p><p>Sincerely,<br />SuddenGenesis</p><p><a href="https://techhub.social/tags/humor" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>humor</span></a> <a href="https://techhub.social/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://techhub.social/tags/JobDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>JobDating</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile of someone currently traveling:</p><p>"I travel frequently for work."</p><p>What they probably mean: "You're not wasting your time liking me. I'm going to be in your area frequently."</p><p>What I understand: "Work sends me here and there. You'll be lucky if I'm in your area once a year. Lol!"</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"Every day feels like Valentine's Day when you're with me. Lol!"</p><p>:holdthepain: What? No, no, I am not slowly walking away from you. Why do you say that?</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a sex ad:</p><p>"Couple in search of a third. None of those silly rules other couples have. No men."</p><p>Wait.... what were you saying about silly rules?</p><p>🙄 </p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/Dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/SillyRules" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>SillyRules</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/SexAd" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>SexAd</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>"You're open to anything, eh?"</p><p>"Yeah, that's what I wrote in my profile."</p><p>"Kiss me, then."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Prove that you're open to anything. Kiss me."</p><p>"No. I'm not gay!"</p><p>"But you're open to ANY-THING!"</p><p>"My profile also says that I'm straight."</p><p>"Yes, but still open to anything."</p><p>"Well, the straight bit wins."</p><p>"You lied."</p><p>"How so?"</p><p>"You said you were open to anything."</p><p>"I mean that I'm relatively open-minded."</p><p>"Why not say this, then?"</p><p>"Say what?"</p><p>"That you are open-minded. Why did you have to say that you're open to anything?"</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>"Why did you think I was interested in you?"</p><p>"Oh, I thought you wanted to sell me cell phone service."</p><p>"Well... that's not untrue."</p><p>"See!"</p><p>"At first, yes, I wanted to sell you cell phone service, but when I saw your eyes, my heart melted."</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/anything" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>anything</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OpenMinded" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OpenMinded</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/straight" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>straight</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/queer" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>queer</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/Dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>Dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>I've been liked by someone named "Musk" and who has a really terrible profile on a dating app.</p><p>:headache: </p><p>Maybe it is some sort of stupid joke. </p><p>:holdthepain: </p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"Looking for something."</p><p>Aren't we all?</p><p>This was the entire profile.</p><p>:why: </p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"I've just finished my Ph.D."</p><p>This is it. This is the entire profile.</p><p>:catthinking: </p><p>Congratulations, but why do you think that's the one and only thing people want to know about you in a dating context?</p><p>I have a Ph.D. and I don't mention it in my profile.</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"we're a real (paid membership) couple"</p><p>Er... except that your profile does not show the membership badge that indicates you're paying.</p><p>Also, I've run into scammers that had the member badge, so...</p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/OnlineDating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>OnlineDating</span></a></p>
Your Autistic Life FR/EN/ES<p>Seen in a dating profile:</p><p>"I am a professional male."</p><p>:catthinking: </p><p>Are we to assume that this is like the sentence "I am a professional airline pilot?" I understand this to mean, "I am a professional at being an airline pilot."</p><p>So the first quote above would mean that I am a professional at being a male.</p><p>I know. It is more likely that this male wanted to say, "I'm a professional and a male."</p><p>:headache: </p><p><a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mast.yourautisticlife.com/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a></p>
Mystech<p>Y'all need to raise your Tinder profile game... </p><p><a href="https://mstdn.party/tags/dating" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>dating</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.party/tags/DatingProfile" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>DatingProfile</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.party/tags/tinder" class="mention hashtag" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">#<span>tinder</span></a></p>
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