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#autisticparenting

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My kid just walked in to tell me about his Minecraft campaign, and about how powerful his bow is now.

Me, genuinely interested but also making conversation so he hangs out: "Did anything funny happen?"

Him: "Yes."

We both burst out laughing at this pointing out of the flaw in my communication. I'll go into the den later to chat and get the skinny.

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#unmasking can be fun, especially when you do it with school “#professionals” to offer examples of the observations they make of your progeny. You wonder why my son doesn’t open up to you more? On some level he’s traumatized and afraid of you and your #ableism. Let me explain… And when I’m done they’re like “oh, wow, we have noticed those things too!”

😑 Um, then why didn’t you use those a signal to CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR and interact with him differently? 😖

I’ve been listening to these CHC podcasts. I’m increasingly concerned these are too focused on fixing children. I want to give my son tools to survive the world, but sometimes I’m not sure when it veers into conversion therapy.

What do you think after listening to this?

podcasts.chconline.org/episode

#ActuallyAutistic
#ADHD #AuDHD
#AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic #ABA #ableism #CBT #poll #support @actuallyautistic

CHC Voices of Compassion Podcast | Children's Health CouncilEveryday Strategies for Executive Functioning - CHC Voices of Compassion Podcast | Children's Health CouncilA weekly podcast produced by Children’s Health Council (CHC) with insights, inspiration and creative conversations about mental health, education and family.

🧵 1/2 Last week I receive a language report from new school behaviorist. Bad words my son used, all euphemisms. No context. And a schedule of punishments.

Eventually I found part of the issue was his being triggered by the adult when told his PBT score would be reduced. Then he reacts badly and then the punishments add up. His previous behaviorist figured this out and approached it differently.

#AutisticParenting #ParentingWhileAutistic #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD @actuallyautistic

Last night my son was up late and I checked in. He asks if I want to see the drawing he did. I had questions. I’m impressed! I did ask if he traced it. Nope. He hand drew it, inverted. My son who school “professionals,” and who know better than parents, said he had small motor issues and that’s why he had trouble writing. Nope! It turns out he loves to write and draw and create. He just couldn’t learn it FROM YOU.

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@hellomiakoda THIS! I can remember that feeling of flight response so many times. Sound triggers me most. I’m glad to be able to tell the other person, “it’s not you, it’s the sound. It’s a normal sound but right now I just can’t. I either need to go or I need you to please stop.”

This is why diagnosis and support are crucial. It doesn’t eliminate the challenges but it sure helps us live better with them.

My son has been into govt, history, military, and old things generally. So at first he expressed an interest in another WW2 army uniform (khaki) this year. But after a bit he sent me a link to a George Washington costume! Interests aligned! Apparently it’s the coat that caught his eye. I’m curious if he’ll wear the wig and hat. 😁

@hk YES. School pushed to get my son to develop his writing only with handwriting. It sucked. They sucked. It wasn’t until our COVID year at home on Chromebook before I realized my son spelled and wrote better taking handwriting out of the loop.

Having improved his writing he now frets less about handwriting and, consequently, his handwriting has also improved. This is where allistic, ableist hegemony is harmful.

#AutisticParenting #ADHD #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

I was reflecting with my husband on the situation where other kids’ behavior was #triggering me and my son on Saturday. He was firm in #advocating for his needs, did so in a socially acceptable manner, didn’t melt down when ignored, and completed his event immediately after in fine form.

He’s struggled and battled a lot of ableism and ignorance in schools, but with great support has built up his skills and #resilience. I’m really proud of him. ❤️

So my son has his first in-person physical since #COVID and his original pediatrician retired. New doc.

She’s going over his record. Mental Health? He has a psychiatrist?

Uh yeah, you guys do that when someone is diagnosed Autistic and ADHD.

She has this look of concern. Also confused as to his atypical responses to her cheery prompts. I just watch with a smirk on my face. So inexperienced, these docs…

#AutisticParenting:

☐ Unfamiliar environment
☐ Noisy, crowded or bright
☐ With the toddler
☐ In the company of others

Pick a maximum of two to avoid sensory overload.

Examples:

✅ I can go to unfamiliar, noisy spots, but I have to go there alone to notice early when I have had enough and be in full control of how to make my way through the place and when to leave.

✅ I can go somewhere with the toddler and others, but it has to be a familiar, quiet place.

✅ I can take the kid to a spot that is unfamiliar, but I have to be alone with them. (To be honest, I'd even rather go without my wife. It is an extra person to take into account.) And I have to be pretty sure that it is not too busy.

#ArguablyAutistic #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

A parent whose child we know asked for a playdate and suggested we meet at a playground I haven't been to before. (Others told me that it is large, busy and sunny.)

Playdates stress me out. Having to go to a crowded and sunny playground that I haven't been to before would stress me out like hell: How do I get there? Where can I park the car? What kind of equipment is there and which of it can our child use? etc.

So I suggested a different playground that we both know and that is typically quiet and shadowy.

It was quiet indeed when we met there with the kids. The shadow gave our child, who is nauseated by sunscreen, a carefree afternoon. When we returned home, I was tired, but not completely exhausted.

I congratulate myself on the decision to suggest a familiar, quiet playground. I was aware of my own preferences and made sure they were respected, and I escaped sensory overload.

If the other parent would like to explore new playgrounds, they can do this on any other day – without me.

🧵 1/3 Just got back from seeing #Ezra.

So, it was good. Very emotional roller coaster. I thought my son was bored but he wasn’t antsy to leave. As we were walking out, he shared that he really liked it. It certainly felt authentic.

The story is focused more on a family and inter-generational perspective, which I think will make it more acressivle and relatable to a broader audience.

#ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #ParentingWhileAutistic #AutisticParenting @actuallyautistic

I mostly recharged this weekend. I opted to work at home today. No meetings afforded me to catch up on a few tasks and chores, too. It was sublime.

Son arrived home covered in clay from the baseball diamond at school. Under protest he stripped to underwear and was sent to shower. Clothes and shoes are being de-clayed.

Now he’s finishing schoolwork not completed this PM. He did pick up on the “it’s not time to talk back” vibe. So yay.