Could AI program my programming? Maybe. But could it complain so bitterly about the solution that has to be implemented? I think not.

The bad part of troubleshooting computer programs is that sometimes part of it breaks, and then you have to suffer through people who want to be helpful asking if any other part of the computer program could have caused the problem, even stuff that doesn't actually touch it. To the point where it's like

Them: could it have been the microwave?

Me: be for real, James. How could it be the microwave?

And then sometimes it IS the fucking microwave. Like. Why.

It's wild to try to train someone to do your job and realize that, at the base, you are really trying to teach them how to think.

Also like don't tell anyone but I like helping with training the newbies because it makes it clear to me how far I've come. When I started this job I was barely past WRITE !, "HELLO CRUEL WORLD." Now I'm a pretty seasoned programmer.

I know 100% of things about the piece of the project I'm currently working on, and 0% of things about the piece I finished two weeks ago. Good thing I'm not in charge of—

Oh wait.

Anyway, note to self to comment my code better.

Project architect: ...and the terminology project, which Em has been taking point on, has been very successful—

Me: (to myself) hang on, was I leading that? (Long pause) I guess I did all the analysis and development. Huh. Nice.

I gotta pay attention in meetings more.

Why is it that step 1 (put data into database) is always the most complicated?

Testing a thing. Update the API to return an error. Run the thing.

It returns an unexpected error.

Hmm. Back out changes. Try again. Unexpected error continues.

SO. Uh.

Boss: We need you to deploy this code to prod.

Me: This code? This code I wrote two months ago?

Boss: Yes.

Me: ...Remind me how it works again?

Had a real brainwave about how XSLTs work and how to fix current project while out and about this morning. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to mean I'm actually able to fix it.

Guess I need to move up so I can just explain the situation to someone else and then make them write the code.

A jira that took so long to get marked done, the fix was deprecated and replaced with a new piece of code.

The X-Path Files: Also a lesson in mysteries, but really boring and frustrating ones instead of government conspiracies.

Reasons why the API isn't working:

A/ I fucked something up.

B/ Someone else fucked something up (upstream or downstream of my bit).

C/ The API got changed and no one told us.

Why is it always C, though?

Uh, hey. I can't code review your PR. It is making my computer act like it's possessed. Is that— Oh, as intended? I see. Uh. It's fine, then. Nicely done.

Me: Why is this throwing an error?

Computer: I don't know. You literally wrote all the code.

Me: Yeah, and I didn't say to throw an error here. You didn't error on the last file! Everything worked fine.

Computer: (stares at me) If I had hands, I'd knock your coffee mug off the desk.

Project stages today:
1/ wow, this analysis is stupid. I don't wanna do it.

2/ I will write a program to do it for me.

3/ wow, this code is all stuff I've written before. Super easy. I'll be done in an hour!

4/ fuck, I am missing a bracket somewhere.

Sometimes you write one line of code and it solves the problem. And I think, wow, am I getting paid to sit here and write one line of code after several hours?

Ah, but it was the *right* line of code.

The joy of finishing all the code updates after your project manager has taken off early for the weekend.