"The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago," continued Marvin. ..."And that was with a coffee machine."
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"Why are we surrounded by squirrels, and what do they want?"
"I've been pestered by squirrels all night," said Arthur. "They keep on trying to give me magazines and stuff."
There's all sort of stuff going on in dimensions thirteen to twenty-two that you really wouldn't want to know about...
All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place.
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
Douglas Adams
“I don’t want to die now! I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!”
One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.
Continued thread
Of course, #Microsoft == #Vogon.
“But the plans were on display…”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.'"
Grown men, he told himself, in flat contradiction of centuries of accumulated evidence about the way grown men behave, do not behave like this.
The sign said:
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.
"It seemed to me," said Wonko the Sane, "that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane."
The alien ship was already thundering toward the upper reaches of the atmosphere, on its way out into the appalling void that separates the very few things there are in the Universe from one another.
In the Deep South of Canberra, the sun never appeared today - high fog/low cloud is still haunting the area and the sun has apparently now set. Now I understand how the inhabitants of the planet Cricket felt.
It got up to a staggeringly high of 5.6 degrees while feeling like about one degree. Thankfully, there was no wind, or it would have been even worse.
I wonder if we will see the sun tomorrow.
Such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess's undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy. Many respectable physicists said that they weren't going to stand for this, partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn't get invited to those sorts of parties.
If a sunbeam had ever managed to slink this far into the justice complex of Argabuthon it would have turned around and slunk straight back out again.
"Colin," he said, turning to the little, hovering ball. "I am going to abandon you to your fate."
"I'm so happy," said Colin.
"Make the most of it," said Ford. "Because what I want you to do is nursemaid that package out of the building. They'll probably incinerate you when they find you, and I won't be here to help. It will be very, very nasty for you, and that's just too bad. Got it?"
"I gurgle with pleasure," said Colin.
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@Znexhf_Svax @HitchhikersGuideQuoteBot2 @bert_hubert
God, he was just unrelentingly brilliant.
"Some time in about the mid 1980s, the phone rang."
"I come in peace," the silver robot said, adding after a long moment of further grinding, "take me to your Lizard."
The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.
This came to my mind earlier today, but I kind of wish it hadn't.
"Share and Enjoy" is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years.